There are days ...

...when I feel a bit bleak. That is when I start comparing myself to others. Normally I am quite content with my little self, the way I look, the way I act or how I do my job... But then there are days when all the people are smarter, more professional or better looking and with much more adventurous lives and many cooler pictures on Facebook.

Cosmos, radishes and chamomile seedlings. Aren't they wonderful?

And that is when I need to take a walk, go home and have a look at my bathroom windowsill and I know that this is my thing, that not everyone gets to grow vegetables in their flats and that even though this is not the norm, this is my little happy corner and yes, I am quirky, but that is just another way of saying "awesome". Life is good.

The Morning Light

Every morning I pass the most amazing display of wild bluebells. It's just a tiny English corner left to itself that comes to life in this part of the year.

The light of the rising sun is blinding, the smell is enchanting and every single morning it reminds me how really nice it is to be in the world.

Colour against Stress

Last weekend was the first since September (yes, you're reading correctly!) that I had no work to take home (I mean, you can always find some work to do, but nothing was really that urgent). So I was fully resolved not to do anything job-related. And... it felt weird! How sad is that ?!

Even worse, I "celebrated" the worry-free weekend by having a panic attack over the state of our crockery. And I am not exaggerating, it was a full-on panic attack, sitting on the floor, hugging my knees, crying and shaking front to back unable to speak because "how are we ever going to sort it out?" Sometimes my serotonin-deficient brain can play cruel tricks on me.

Luckily, there is almost always that lovely man of mine, who picked me up, took me to the living room, sat me down on a sofa and wrapped me in three blankets like a baby whilst talking to me. Men are often so under-appreciated and complained about, but  I don't know where I would be without mine.

This bit of stress has also brought me back to one of my lovely hobbies, which is colouring. I loved colouring books as a little girl and I love it still. Luckily, it's becoming more and more popular and available. I still remember buying my first colouring book of mandalas. It was during uni and I remember being totally drained after several long panic attacks, my head wouldn't stop crunching down on all the impossible thoughts that were sprouting in my brain. I had to get out of my room and almost frantically got into the tea house with a little shop full of spiritual books. By then I knew about relaxation via colouring, so I decided to try it. I still have the book, but since then the collection has grown. So has the collection of pencils, although most of them are old sets dug out from elsewhere. That does not stop them being beautiful and totally amazing though.

Page 37 from a Czech book "Antistresové omalovánky pro dospělé" (Anti-stress colouring for adults)

by Jolana Daňková and Lenka Tréglová

 Since my first book I have gathered these three more. Most pictures are left blank and some are only partly coloured, so they still promise many hours of free entertainment. Yay!